they get fogged up when we drink hot beverages.
they get smudged for no reason.
we will push them up using anything in our area (i.e shoulder, whatever is in my hand, scrunching my nose up so they get pushed up, etc.).
they get knocked off our faces all. the. fucking. time.
when we change clothes we either take them off or they fall off when we pull our shirts off.
we have to clean them after being in the rain.
we own multiple pairs of them, not just one lone pair for our whole lives.
most people don’t wear them in the pool, but some have extra old pairs for the pool (like me).
some people take them off during sex, that’s fine! but some people keep them on.
they don’t get squished into your face when you kiss (most of the time. at least from what i’ve experienced and i’ve got some mf big glasses).
if we look down and look back up while you talk/to peek up at something, we will just peek blindly over the top of them.
we clean them on whatever item of clothing is closest.
some of us have prescription sunglasses and some of us wear contacts when we need to wear sunglasses.
please keep some of these in mind when you write characters with glasses cause y’all who have 20/20 vision keep telling me all characters sleep in their glasses and own the same singular pair from age 6-25 and they never clean them.
( there’s this but you missed a few iconic glasses traits – “where’d I put my glasses” (is wearing them) – new glasses getting scratched on basically nothing. where’d the nick come from? we just don’t know. – forgetting you’re wearing synthetic material and just smudge the junk on your glasses around – after doing so, proceeding to hunt down any friend who is wearing a more cottony material – getting eyelashes on your glasses – stabbing yourself in the face with the arm of your glasses – “woah are you blind?” – “how many fingers am I holding up??” – walking into a warm room from the cold and suddenly being unable to see because your glasses fogged up – going outside and everything is Super Crisp 1080p – having three pairs of glasses and putting all of them at once – “aw dude you have transition lenses? lucky.” – the non-glasses scrutinising squint – taking off your glasses and suddenly you’re a different entity entirely – if you’re too good for taking off your glasses when dressing/undressing, realising you didn’t pull the collar of a shirt out enough and subjecting to your fate )
-For female characters wearing eye makeup is pretty much useless
– the reason why is because no matter what we do, the mascara will smear on our glasses
– thinking “Oh, there’s a little smudge. I’ll just clean it quickly”, then taking the glasses off and wondering how the hell you could see with what looks like three layers of dirt on them
– giving your loved one a little kiss but in the wrong angle so their nose touches your glasses
– the look™ when you’re in your bed lying on the side with your glasses on (aka the glasses are skewed)
-sleeping in glasses fucking hurts… well, not anymore, but it used too
-if you have long eyelashes, having to push your glasses down your nose so they dont constantly rub each other, then having to push them up cuz you cant see
-WHY WONT YOU STAY ON MY FACE?!?!?!
-*they tilt crooked slightly* oh wow, And… now Im falling over
-having transitions and right after walking into a building you can’t see because they’re still dark
-forgetting where you put them then having to either ask for help or judge your entire surroundings
-dont like contacts? like cosplaying? guess what! you’re blind now!
-trading glasses with other glasses wearers to see how blind your friends are
-when there’s a smudge that just. Won’t. Go. Away.
-“hey do you have lens cleaner?”
-your old glasses become your back up pair in case your current ones break
-metal and plastic frames are very different and most people have a preference
All of this omg
Oh also I forgot to mention the nOSE PAD THINGIES
I HATE THOSE WITH A BURNING PASSION
OH MY GOD SAME, I HAD A PAIR OF METAL FRAMES AND THE NOSE PAD THINGIES THAT CUSHIONED THE ACTUAL THINGS FELL OFF
THAT AMIGOS IS WHY I WEAR PLASTIC FRAMES
The death sound when you put your glasses on your bed for like 2 seconds, then you forgot about and you sit on it.
-feeling several cm taller after getting my first or secon pair of glasses just because of depth perception
– losing/breaking all my prescription sunglasses
-losing my current pair of glasses so having to go back to an old pair that’s not only fugly but the prescription isn’t the same anymore
-changing prescription! in general
-not being able to see the TV well without my glasses but seeing my phone just fine in bed when they’re off
– when the branches of your glasses are detachable and one of them comes off and you think you’ve broken it
– because the part of the frame which allows you to clip and unclip the branches has already broken once, leaving you with glasses with a single branch
– tucking your glasses by the branch in the little net of the seat in front of you in the plane/train so that you can get them easily
– ASIAN NOSE WITH WESTERN GLASSES ASIAN NOSE WITH WESTERN GLASSES THOSE FUCKING GLASSES ARE CONSTANTLY SLIPPING DOWN AND JUST WON’T BE WHERE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE (no but seriously, it’s always been a problem for me and my mom)
– accidentally putting the pad of your finger on the lens and “NOOOOO”
– cringing when you give your glasses to someone AND THEY PUT THEIR FINGERS ON THE LENS
– describing your sight as “in 144px”
– when your sight lowers as you grow up and you just need to wait for the end of puberty to be sure you won’t have to change your prescription AGAIN
– the struggle of wearing contact lents for the first time and having to train to put them on
– fearing to one day forget your glasses somewhere because you’re wearing contact lents
– losing one of your lents and blessing your past self for having taken your glasses with you
– reading with your nose in your book because you’re looking OVER your glasses
– having not ONE sight problem but TWO and risking a THIRD one when you’re old
– stepping into the shower with your glasses on but only realizing it when you pour water on your glasses
– putting your glasses on when you have your contact lents on
– you change glasses but they’re so heavy and the prescription is too strong for you, so you need to put them down every now else your ears hurt and you’re tired
– finding THAT one pair that you don’t wanna have to change
This is all true but y’all are cowards I wear my sunglasses over my prescription glasses like I do with those 3D glasses in movie theaters
Following up to this post, here’s a fantastic look at Victorian “fancy dress balls”–they were all the rage at the time, but really picked up in the later half of the century where the focus was more on self-expression than hiding oneself, as was the case at 18th-century masquerades (Phantom hearkens back to this earlier tradition, but the idea of a masquerade hiding one’s true identity also works perfectly for its theatrical setting).
Hereare some wackier costumes from fancy dress balls. I’m in love with this one:
And look! A bee!
Here’s a fashion plate with some costume ideas from across the centuries (and of course, we wouldn’t be in the Victorian era if there weren’t a bit of tone-deaf cultural appropriation with the Native American costume.):
It was actually common for women to wear shorter skirts at these balls so they could show off their fabulous boots (as you see above, and as is the case with Christine’s stage version of the Star Princess dress):
Depending on your host, masks of all kinds were welcome, so you were free to be as unsettlingly disturbing as you wanted while you lounged by the punch bowl and made rabbit eyes at the eligible young heiress whose hand in marriage comes with fifty thousand pounds a year and a lifetime of resentment because women’s rights didn’t exist yet:
Suppose you can’t make it to the most fashionable balls London or Paris this season. If it’s 1883 and you are Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt and happen to have $6 million of disposable income at your fingertips, why not throw your own fancy dress ball for New York City’s elite (and spend millions on champagne alone)? And why don’t you one-up every single one of your guests by dressing as that most wondrous of new inventions, Edison’s electric light? I defy the Rockefellers to steal your spotlight when the spotlight in question could very easily electrocute them.
Like flowers? Of course you do. Like spring? Oh, my God, do you ever. Like pretending you’re but a mere shepherdess, giggling and flouncing away from the advances of the blacksmith’s apprentice? GOOD LORD, YES. Like the 18th century? HELL YES, OH MAN, GIMME THAT ROCOCO SPRING FLOWER EXPLOSION:
BUT WAIT! You’re not gonna let that Rococo Spring Flower Explosion HARLOT flounce away with your suitor, are you? HELL NO, YOU ARE NOT. Which is why you are prepared to send her running dressed as a GORGEOUS FREAKING BUTTERFLY:
But where would a butterfly be without a lovely flower upon which to perch? Enter your secret lesbian lover, the Rose:
Or, if you’re uncomfortable with NOT being the center of attention every waking moment, you could just pull the equivalent of one-upping the bride at a wedding by wearing white and come dressed as the DAMN SUN:
But maybe you’re more of the goth persuasion. Might I suggest a tasteful sorceress?
A dainty Batman ensemble to match your wife’s delicate moth angel gown?
Vampire mistress of the night, perhaps?
Actually, bat motifs were an extremely popular costume option, not just in the 19th century, but also at 18th century balls:
But if it’s 1880 and you want to carry on grandma’s bat tradition, this might be a more modern take on a pocket-sized blood-sucking demon:
Or this:
You are so thrilled to attend the costume ball like the goth nightmare you are, you can hardly contain your enthusiasm:
Here is a tastefully acceptable take on Satan. Might I sample your punch, Mrs. Higgenbottom, before I make away with your soul?
“Oh, Ella!”
“Yes, Constance?”
“Oh, I do so love your seagull gown.”
“Oh, why thank you, my dear friend!”
“But I’ve not the slightest idea what I shall wear to the ball!”
“Why, Constance, it is a simple matter of identifying something near and dear to your heart and then adapting it into a suitable costume. I, for example, find solace in the sea, particularly in the birds of the sea, and most particularly when they nose-dive into and defecate upon the boat, shrieking like banshees in heat. Hence, the seagulls adorning my gown. What do you like the very most, Constance?”
“MOTHER-EFFING LOBSTERS.”
Or, maybe you’re just a shameless ho and don’t give a brass farthing about showing your ankles, your calves, your thighs, or your hoo-ha at the Embassy Ball, in which case, blaze it:
why are star wars planets more boring than earth and our solar system like sure we’ve seen desert, snow, diff types of forest, beach, lava, rain, but like…
rainbow mountains (peru)
red soil (canada/PEI)
rings (saturn’s if they were on earth)
bioluminescent waves
northern lights (canada)
salt flats (bolivia, where they filmed crait but did NOTHING COOL WITH IT except red dust?? like??? come ON)
and cool fauna like the touch me not or like, you know, the venus flytrap.. and don’t get me started on BUGS like… we have bugs cooler than sw aliens
BASICALLY like???? come on star wars you had one (1) job where are the cool alien species
I KNOW!! I did a report on filming locations in Star Wars last year and just made a list of places that looked so surreal they could make a convincing other planet. You covered some on my list but if I could just add a couple more:
Tsingy di Bemaraha, Madagascar
Zhangye Danxia, China (similar to the Rainbow Mountains in terms of appearance)
Chocolate Hills, Philippines
Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland
So many missed opportunities with cool ass things on Earth, Lucasfilms smh…
Earth is effing amazing!
Quebrada de Humahuaca, Argentina
Lake Retba, Senegal
Tepui, Venezuela
Tianzi Mountains, China
these would make amazing Star Wars planets OR fantasy material:
Tsingy du Bemaraha, Madagascar again (but a different part)
(those are razor-sharp, if you were wondering. very little of this area has been explored because YIKES)
Lake Natron, Tanzania
(looks cool, but is alkaline enough to Kill Your Shit)
Lake Baikal, Russia
(the deepest lake in the world, seriously)
and I’ll wrap it up with Son Doong Cave, Vietnam, the largest cave in the entire world.
it puts anything Dagobah has to offer to absolute shame:
(seriously, the largest chamber is 660 feet high. you could jam a fucking skyscraper in there and still lose it)
anyway I really like caves thanks for coming to my ted talk
Hey fellow creators! So, as some folks may have recently become aware, Tumblr posts with external links don’t show up in relevant tags (as detailed in this post). IE, if you post a Steven Universe picture and tag it “Steven Universe” and there’s an external link in the post, it won’t actually show up in the “Steven Universe” tag! This is very frustrating! What if I make a post and want to link to my Twitter in the description? What if I want to link people to my online store when I post a piece of art? What if I want to link to a YouTube video and still have it show up under the relevant tags I put into the post?
Hold on to your butts kids cuz here’s how we cheat the system.
—
The thing about Tumblr’s Anti-Linking nonsense works is that it only blocks external links. Internal links are fine. So if you wanted to post a link to another Tumblr post, or someone’s Tumblr blog, you’re good. But if you wanted to link to your Twitter page or something, you’re screwed. So, all we gotta do is make your external link into a Tumblr link. Sounds weird. I know. But here’s how it works.
First, go to your Tumblr blog. Hit the “Edit Theme” tab.
In the theme editor sidebar, scroll all the way to the bottom, the “Page” section. (Here’s what mine looks like- I already have a few of these set up)
Hit “Add a Page”, and this window will pop up. By default it’s set to be a Standard Page. Hit the dropdown and select “redirect”.
For this example, let’s say I want to link to my Twitter page. I’ll name the page “Twitter” (this is what the redirect URL will end up being- IE yourblogname.tumblr.com/Twitter), and insert my Twitter URL under the “Redirect To” tab. Leave “Show a link to this page” turned off. (Unless you want the link to show up on your blog, in which case, turn it on. Do what you want, I’m not your mom)
Hit “Save”, and your new page should now show up on your Page list!
And done! So now, let’s say I wanted to use the new link in the text portion of a post. Simply use the Tumblr redirect link instead of the direct URL! As a test, I linked to my Twitter in a test post, using the redirect link instead of the direct link, and there it is in the tag! Success!
I recommend making a Redirect Page for any external links you’ll be using frequently. I like to post links to my webcomic/Twitter in posts fairly often, but doing that made me take a pretty big hit since my posts wouldn’t show up in tags. With this method, I can keep the external links, and have stuff show up when I tag it! Workarounds are fun!
Fae Bae 